Many people will not flinch when asked this question on entering a restaurant, but for me it epitomises the sense of loss in my life.
I know the question is not intended to highlight my widowed status, but it serves as a reminder of many things, including my courage at entering a restaurant alone and eating alone; something which I find excruciating, and a reminder of how Paul and I loved conversation and debate. He was interested in many things, including sports, economics and politics which were not areas of great interest to me. He taught me to discuss these subjects and admire his expertise and interest in them and in turn I got him interested in relationships, coaching and dealing with conflict. So meals out were always a place of lively discussion and something I miss dreadfully. Apart from anything I miss the intellectual stimulation of sharing my life with someone who was smart, intelligent and witty.
I loved hearing about his work in Finance and he loved hearing about my business. Those daily exchanges were a thread of our lives which cannot be replaced.
Eating out was also one of our great loves. We are lucky to live within walking distance of the city centre of York and there are always new restaurants to try and friends to meet up with. We would often spontaneously decide that we would eat out. All that has gone. Just one of the many things that I am yet to adjust to.